The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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