Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
