I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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