bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
