Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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