Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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