he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize