You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize