I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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