i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
