y did u give ur computer a hand job?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
