Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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