We should be called the Road Head Warriors
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
