this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
