So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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