Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
