why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
smell my finger.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
