I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
