absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
