omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Sober January is a disaster.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
