Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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