I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
