I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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