every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize