my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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