he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
