I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
As shirtless as possible
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
