i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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