We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize