Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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