So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
