I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
