I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
