i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
be right there i have to get my cape
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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