I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
