I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
