im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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