he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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