after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize