I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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