Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
