Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
