Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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