All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
