How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
