after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
