She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Randomize