im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
