look no pants
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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