I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
