I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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