oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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