theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
