Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
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I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
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Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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