he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
