I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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