Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
