Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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