oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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