There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
