I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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