my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
