She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...