Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
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okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
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He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?