I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
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Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.