Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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