I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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