Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
