Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
